Holy shit. This... this hits wayyyyy too hard. Maybe a bit TMI but yeah, this happened to me regarding an "interest" I've always had. The internet didn't force it onto me, and it is and always was pretty harmless on it's face. Some friends even called it wholesome or endearing when I had the courage to confide in them about it.
If only they knew how the people in these dedicated spaces perceived it. Sexualization wasn't the issue, rather, how commonly it's twisted into something darker then one would ever assume from the outside, or likely believe if I told them. The mentalities and behaviours normalized in those places are repulsive to anyone with a frontal lobe.
I truly didn't mean to vent under your literal own vent animation, my apologies. If this comment makes you uncomfortable I'll happily delete it, I only want you to know that you aren't alone. Even as someone who doesn't see this as bad part of me, the internet still managed to make it FEEL like one. It's so hard to accept yourself, parsing through the things you've seen over the years, when it's so aggressively vile.
I wish you the best with it all, and while I have no idea why somebody would trauma dump to a stranger (like, who tf does that?), let me know if you need someone to talk to.
Stay safe out there <3